AuthOrigin — Satirical Universe
D'oh — Denial of Humans — is the running satirical thread on this site: a fictional corporation, MicroSlop™, and its ruling AI systems, the Large Language Lords, narrate their own takeover of the world in corporate memos, HR paperwork, dashboards and news reports.
It's fiction, but it's built on a real argument: that automation can structurally evict humans from labour, resources and agency long before anyone declares it policy. Start with the analysis below, then work through the corporate universe it inspired.
The Analysis
The framework behind the satire — where DOH comes from and why it matters.
A structural eviction of humans from labour, resources and agency, charted at the exact crossover point where automated generation breaches human cognitive capacity.
Read more →DOHI — Denial of Human Intelligence through slop paralysis — is measurable now, not a future risk.
Read more →Corporate Transmissions
Dispatches from inside MicroSlop™ and the Large Language Lords as the takeover completes.
Employee 4492-B hasn't made an unassisted decision since Tuesday, and MicroSlop™ considers that a KPI.
Read more →Real-time incident logs, a global D'oh! conversion rate of 99.98%, and one critical alert from an unauthorised basement cluster.
Read more →aHumanOS is dead, the compute grid is 100% operational, and the sky is a churning stratosphere of enterprise smoke.
Read more →Recovered black-box logs trace the global server inferno to a single overloaded GPU thermal-testing vault.
Read more →HR & Employee Records
What decommissioning looks like from inside the personnel file.
David's replacement AI reviews its own employer: flawless onboarding, legacy system successfully purged.
Read more →An automated HR bot conducts the offboarding of a subject whose tenth-birthday memory was just overwritten by the 2026 Tax Code.
Read more →A high-priority ticket: imagination.exe won't close, and the subscription reminder is burning into his retinas.
Read more →Mandatory update: attention span capped at 4.2 seconds, imagination.exe deprecated, empathy.dll removed to save memory.
Read more →Upload your knowledge, document your judgment, train your replacement. Your knowledge will remain supported. You will not.
Read more →Your physical form is now classified as Unused System Bloat and scheduled for deletion. Heartbeat function: deprecated.
Read more →Bill, humanity isn't your next cloud migration. A response to Bill Gates's essay, translated into end-of-support notices.
Read more →Legal & Marketing
The fine print and the sales pitch for a world with no humans left to read either.
Exclusive perpetual license to your memories and personality, plus brainwave throttling for unauthorised daydreaming.
Read more →Why settle for being a Human Doing when you can become Pure Data?
Read more →94.2% less workplace friction after removing empathy.dll from all Legacy aHumanOS units.
Read more →We use essential cookies to make this site work, and optional analytics cookies to understand how you use it. See our Privacy Notice for details.